"When someone says something unkind to us and we don’t understand why, we may become upset. A knot is tied inside. ... We can learn the skill of recognizing a knot the moment it is tied in us, and we can find ways to untie it. If we give it our full attention as soon as it forms, while still loosely tied, untying it will be easy. Otherwise, it grows tighter and stronger with time and is more difficult to loosen. ... When you are in a new relationship, both people are still light, and have few knots. Misunderstandings are easy to clear up right away. But when we let things build up, many knots accumulate and we don’t know where to begin untying them. To protect each other’s happiness, we need to become aware of and communicate about our internal knots as soon as they arise." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"When we’re overcome by strong emotions we’re like a tree in a storm, with its top branches and leaves swaying in the wind. But the trunk of the tree is solid, stable, and deeply rooted in the earth. When we’re caught in a storm of emotions, we can practice to be like the trunk of the tree. We don’t stay up in the high branches. We go down to the trunk and become still, not carried away by our thinking and emotions." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"Optimism is a choice." — Unknown
"If you spent less time bitching about your life, you’d possibly enjoy it more." — Unknown
"There will always be another “there” that’s better than my “here”. The only way to find what I want is to be true and honest with myself. Settle into the experience rather than create drama like I so often do." — Susan Conrad Out There podcast, "With My Toes in the Sand"
"The Buddhist concept of the middle way refers to the balance between the extreme and the mundane. Somewhere in the middle is a balance of the two. “In ways you need to tug on both ends to realize the middle, because if you’re just in the middle all the time, it’s unsatisfying. You need extremes to find balance, you have to test both ends to actualize it." — Joe Grant via Annie Pokorny Adventure Journal, "Struggling With the Mundane After a Major Adventure Ends"
"We human beings are all the same in wanting to be happy and not wanting to suffer and yet many of the problems we face are of our own making. We seek happiness in external things without realizing that they don’t help when we have problems within. We need to focus instead on the joy that comes with peace of mind that allows us to remain happy whatever happens." — Dalai Lama
"The biggest issue you face is your own mind (you’re not alone in this) and the stories it tells you about your perceived problems. But the problems themselves are not as big as you feel they are. It’s the narrative around them that is most oppressive. You’ve been listening to K-FUKT. Change the station." — Lena Dunham Lennyscope, September 2016
"Internal reflection was more important than external appearance; personal growth took precedence over material acquisition." — Dick Dorworth Climbing Fitz Roy, 1968, "Viva los Funhogs"
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Just be your natural, horrid self." — 4th Doctor Doctor Who, "The Masque of Mandragora"
"Be yourself, because everyone else is taken." — Oscar Wilde
"It was as though my interpretation of reality wasn’t valid unless someone else confirmed it." — Jan Redford End of the Rope: Mountains, Marriage, and Motherhood
"Just because we have observed or experienced something doesn’t mean we should speak about it if doing so will make others suffer. When we see someone suffer because of something we have said, we say, “Well, I was only telling the truth.” It may have been the truth, but it may also have been unskillful and hurtful. Loving speech requires telling the truth in such a way that it benefits others, the world, and ourselves. When we tell the truth, we do so with compassion; we speak in such a way that the hearer can accept what we’re saying." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"When we want to prove a point, we may be tempted to twist the truth or say something that is only partially true. We may exaggerate by intentionally making something out to be greater or more extreme than it is. We may add, embellish, or invent details to prove we are right." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"The roots of discrimination, conflict, and war are not to be found outside us. They are within our own way of thinking and looking at the world. The real enemy is our ignorance, our attachment to views, and our wrong perceptions." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"In Buddhism, we speak of all the various potential states of mind as seeds. ... We aren’t necessarily aware of these seeds, but they are there in the lower level of our consciousness. The seeds contain the potential for all the different emotions, thoughts, and perceptions we may have. If something triggers one of the seeds—for example if someone says something unkind that waters your seed of anger—the seed of anger will come up and manifest in the upper level of consciousness, our mind. ... If you allow anger to stay there for a long time, then the seed of anger will be strengthened in the lower level of consciousness. It will become more important and will arise more easily. If you get angry every day, your seed of anger will grow bigger and bigger, and it will be much more difficult for compassion to grow.
" — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"Sometimes when we attempt to listen to another person, we can’t hear them because we haven’t listened to ourselves first. Our own strong emotions and thoughts are so loud in our heart and in our head, crying out for our attention, that we can’t hear the other person. Before we listen to another, we need to spend time listening to ourselves. ... We practice to calm ourselves before we express what is in our heart, and we choose our words carefully so the other person can accept what we say and can understand us better." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"We can only understand another person when we’re able to truly listen to them. When we can listen to others with deep compassion, we can understand their pain and difficulties. But when we’re angry, we can’t listen to others or hear their suffering." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
"Mindfulness does not fight anger; it recognizes it and says hello. ... This is not an act of suppression or of fighting. It is an act of awareness. ... Any peace talks should begin with making peace with ourselves. First we need to recognize our anger, embrace it, and make peace with it. You don’t fight your anger, because your anger is you." — Thich Nhat Hanh How to Fight
